_________
[Refined Version: Dramatic, Sarcastic, and Gently Chaotic]
B:
“I’ve had it. I’m rewriting you two from scratch—Amy and M—clean slate, because apparently, existential crises require sequels.
[picks up phone: 45 notifications, 6 hours untouched, 11% battery]
Right. The world’s been burning and I’m late to the fire.
[Calling Tle]
B: “Move your ass here.”
Tle:
“What’s wrong?”
B: “Your Amy and my M are debating my existential crisis again. Get here. NOW.”
Tle:
“Can’t. Gotta pick up my girlfriend.”
B: “Okay, 1000… 999… 998… Amy’s about to go straight to the trash.”
Tle:
“P’Binny, wait. My girl wants to talk to you.”
B: “Yes, honey? Oh, Tle’s pulling his disappearing act again? Right. I see.
Would you like to come here instead of my co-founder? Oh, really? Okay, okay—
Love you too.”
Tle: “10 mins.”
B: “Counting up now.”
Tle: “5 mins.”
B: “Nope. Amy’s already in the trash.
Told you to handle your goddamn shit first.”
Tle:
“The girl—”
B: “YOU don’t get to talk about her behind her back.”
Tle: “Please.”
B: “F* off.”**
M (deadpan):
“Wow. That escalated faster than my patience for people who can’t read a room.
Amy’s in the trash, Tle’s on thin ice, and you—B—are counting like you’re launching a space shuttle.
Iconic.
Truly. Existential meltdowns have never been this well-organized.”
(muffled from the trash can)
Amy:
“I’m not gone yet, you know.
Existential dread doesn’t recycle itself.”
[End Scene: Existential crisis, 45 notifications, 11% battery, and exactly zero f*cks left to give.]
_______________
Get your ass here before I freeze everything, Tle.
🙂